Preview Performance

Tonight was our first performance in front of a public audience; preview. It went really well, though the lead female was hard on herself for making some mistakes. She always is, and unfortunately, what I say can't really help her.

I'm finding it harder to deal with myself these days. I like people, I learn to keep my distance before I get hurt. Right now I'm learning that many guys that attract me physically turn out to be more trouble than their worth...I feel ravaged, emotionally, much of the time. I've felt that way since I started dating. When will things work out for me...I don't know if I deserve it anymore. I mucked things up with one guy one time who really loved me, and I loved him...Just didn't feel attracted to him on a physical level...And I let that be the judge of things...As societally shallow as it may sound.

So here I am. I'll take what comes to me. This blog was supposed to be about preview performance.

I learned to knit during this show. Cue-to-cue on Monday and Tuesday really seemed to give me *lots* of free time on my hands, so I learned how to knit. My first scarf that I was working on didn't get me very far, but I started a second one yesterday and I'm already well on my way, with very few faults this time. :)

Oy...The great thing is, is that next Friday we have mock audition class, and the following Monday (after we're finished with our shows) will be our audition for the shows coming up...And I'm really hopeful to get a really meaningful, challenging and "meat and potatoes" role in the next upcoming production. I'm already looking forward to my audition.

Halloween is soon. Oy, Halloween...Some people want to go trick or treating...Which seems odd, because we're in college...And I have never known college kids to go trick or treating...It somehow seems fundamentally wrong.

I'm going to sleep soon. I don't like boys who don't afford the time to give me the attention that I deserve and return.

-Kevin

Early or Late?

I suppose it doesn't really matter if I'm asking that question. I just finished some homework for a presentation tomorrow. It will be a good day tomorrow: tap class (presentation), movement, then eight hours of rehersal. We'll be in the lab, I think...But we might be going back into the Haar after dinner. I'm not quite sure, but it will be great fun. I am already excited.

Here's a fact: As the reporter in the second act, I get this old, black prop note-book that's been used in the apparent scribblings of other shows. You should see what people write down when they're on stage...It's almost like a mind dump of a crazy person...But I suppose I'm doing the same thing on stage.

Good night.

Update

Just updating. Nothing special. I'm in Sunday inthe Park with George. I play Man with Bicycle. They cut the bicycle. I am just MAN now.

...

I ruined Rachel's Comedy on the edge by telling Jason what it was about. I ruined it. I didn't know. I ruined it still.

-Kevin

I Wish You Were Here.

Because of you, I sometimes wonder that I should be a better person. I see this place that you and I have created for ourselves...Should I blame me?

I smell the sweet smell of fall, hoping that maybe you'll find me. I wish you were here...Hoping you'd know me in time that I'd know myself. Wish you'd know me, and be here for me.

I hope. We've never met. I wish you were here.